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…or that one time when I found myself in deep doodoo! But first, as promised… The serious stuff first! ↓ The age that shapes me (and us) The Welcome & Goodbye, Earth universe The main story:
The problem with the main story is that I’m sometimes confronted with the enormity of the project I’m working on. I know that I’m going somewhere, but I don’t always know how I’m going to get there. That isn’t the case, however, with the side stories. The side stories (in the order I’m planning to work on them):
Not in order, but planned for writing:
That’s that! You can now continue doing what you were doing. See you next time, subscriber who refuses to read on! The fun stuff ↓ Some of the more notable things I’ve seen and done between newsletters.
So, months before the very last day of 2025, we bought tickets to a musical called The Rocky Horror Show, which I ended up really liking. And for months, MONTHS, and I don’t know how I got there, until now (I literally just looked it up), I had been promoting this as the musical to Little Shop of Horrors from 1986, which, as it turns out (and probably why it confused the hell out of me when it was explained to me), is an adaptation of a 1982 musical bearing the same name. For months, I had been telling people that The Rocky Horror Show is a musical based on this movie called Little Shop of Horrors, wherein a flesh-eating plant sings and eats people. Some of them were even excited, so I told them to buy a ticket before it sold out. I will have you know that I was really excited about this. But it was only when we walked to our seats that I began to notice the transvestites, some wearing nothing but lingerie, standing and sitting all over the place. That is when I began to question myself, wondering if maybe they were not there simply because it was New Year’s Eve. Well, they were, and they were not, because The Rocky Horror Show, as my wife rightfully accused me of not having read the memo, is (Wikipedia) a humorous tribute to various B-movies associated with the science fiction and horror genres from the 1930s to the early 1960s, featuring a mad transvestite scientist. A musical that I highly recommend seeing if and when you can. Also, if you are one of those people who ended up being there because of me, know that I am deeply, deeply sorry.
Anyway, there’s a whole lot more, but that’s the gist of it. Frienemies of the Ben Since this is the very first proper report about Luna the dog, I thought it would be a good idea to tell you the origin story of how she ended up in our household and how, due to what I still consider the most ridiculous sequence of events, she came to view me as an enemy of the state. In short, before we got the dog, we ended up fostering a cat. Do not ask me why, but this particular cat came all the way from Romania, and there were absolutely no other cats between us and Romania. It was brought to us by a company that regularly transports pets to almost every corner of Europe. After months of looking at dogs, the shelter that had the cat, for the very first time, also had a dog. This dog was about five months old at the time.
Instead of the cat, who arrived at around 3 am, the dog came to us, luckily, at around 3 pm. She was handed over from a van transporting animals by two men who were partially covered in poo. Talk about a hazardous job! But here is why we ended up having issues, or rather, why the dog had issues with me. This is why she started giving me those questionable looks, like in the image above, and why she has not stopped looking at me like that ever since. My wife was the first thing she saw, and at that very moment, Luna the dog began imprinting on her face. She knew, instantly, that she had found her owner. And then there was me. The guy who not only came second, but who, after hitting the kerb, dropped the welcome-home snacks I was holding. And it was in that moment, ladies and gentlemen, that another form of imprinting took place. One in which Luna knew that the one accompanying her new mum was, in short, an idiot. So. Now you know. That’s the origin of us. All of us. And how simultaneously her plan to push me out slowly began to form in that brain of hers. The age that shaped me (and us) The Board: The one with the giant from the Addams Family
This is, without a doubt, the oldest piece of memorabilia I have in my collection. Okay, maybe not the oldest, but the oldest that I received in person, given to me by Carel Struycken, who plays the character of Lurch in The Addams Family film of 1991, and again in 1993 and 1998. I do not remember the exact moment it was given to me, but I know that my dad paid for it, sometime before the Euro, and that my brothers and I each got one. If I had to guess, it was in 1998 or 1999 at an event previously mentioned in “The Age That Shaped Me (and Us)” in Book One, called F.A.C.T.S. For over fifteen years, it lay with a lot of other documents in a cabinet, until the day my mum decided to get rid of it, after which I eventually decided to give it one last resting place. Thanks for the memories, Carel! Stories that didn’t make the board: the Leshan Giant Buddha Conundrum!
Two notable things you should know about this picture!
Would you like to know more? Read on! Travelling can be fun, but it can also easily turn into a nightmare! In 2011, I spent two months backpacking around China. I followed an itinerary I had put together myself, based on a map of the country, a book of more than 1,000 pages listing all the UNESCO sites, and some research. It turns out that China has a lot of places worth seeing! One of those places was Chengdu, a city best known for its panda breeding programme, where you could hold a baby panda (doo doo doo doo doo doo. Baby panda, doo doo… sorry!), have your picture taken with the animals, or pay a massive sum of money to have an enemy wrapped in bamboo and thrown in there for sacrificial purposes. From there, I planned a side trip to the Giant Buddha of Leshan, a massive statue carved directly into a mountainside. I write as a hobby, others take photos of birds, whilst some other overachievers do things like this. Anyway, having seen the picture probably makes you understand why this was one of the sights that I really wanted to see. One of the nice things about travelling within China and other countries is that almost everyone you meet in hostels is, depending on timing, visiting the same sights. This results in randomly bumping into someone you met on the plane to Beijing, or even meeting someone who lives on the same street as you do! In a city like Beijing, for instance, everyone visits the same landmarks: the Great Wall, the Temple of Heaven, the Forbidden City, and more. People who start in Beijing often continue to Xi’an, where the Terracotta Army is, then head south towards Guilin, and finally towards either Shanghai or the Three Gorges Dam. If you are travelling alone or even with a friend, you end up talking to people and often just tag along with them. It makes things easier and more comforting because you can actually talk to someone, and it’s more fun. You have company, and someone else usually knows how to get where you are going, or you figure it out together. With that knowledge in mind, and having checked into my hostel in Chengdu, I eventually started talking to a Hungarian couple who had just got married and were backpacking as part of their honeymoon. Let’s call them Zoltan and Maria. And, lo and behold, they were actually planning to visit the Giant Buddha the next day. What a surprise! So, naturally, I asked them whether I could join them, and they were happy for me to come along. So far, so good! It was going to be a long journey, so we left early. While it was still dark, we took a bus to the bus station, then a three-hour long-distance bus, followed by yet another local bus that brought us all the way to where we needed to be. We spent most of the trip chatting and paid little attention to the route. I was excited because I absolutely wanted a photo of myself on a boat in front of the statue. And yes, spoiler alert! I did get that photo, although not quite in the way I had imagined. The Buddha of Leshan is more than just the statue. Like Petra in Jordan (which, in my opinion, is not even the most impressive sight in the area), the surrounding area is filled with temples, carvings, caves where people once lived, and paths you can explore for hours. We wandered through the site, climbed long staircases, and stopped to look around whenever we could. Yes, life was good! Until, at some point, because we were in such a large area and without really paying attention, we split up. Resulting in… And… Here it comes… Me actually losing them! And it was only when I lost them that I realised I actually had no idea how I had got there. I had followed buses, people, and conversations, but I had not paid attention to directions or names. I remember searching the area for them, walking back and forth, feeling the slow rise of panic, and, of course, not finding them. The area was also packed with people, which meant I was not about to start screaming for them. And yes, even though I am about 512 cm in height, I was still unable to spot them.
So, this brings me back to the question I asked each and every one of you at the bottom of my earlier newsletter: whilst travelling in a country where you did not speak the language, have you ever found yourself in a situation where you started to panic, did not know what to do, and were completely dependent on the kindness of others? Would you be willing to share that story? (None of you did, by the way! 😞 But, hey, I ain’t mad!) Have you ever had a moment where the world seems to close in on you? Where you suddenly realise that you are surrounded by people who do not speak English, or at least, you think they do not? It sounds dramatic, but standing there, alone, it felt all too real. Naturally, all I wanted to do then was leave, because the fun part was officially over. So, I decided to head over to the exit and try to make my way back to Chengdu. But how? I told myself to take it step by step. First, find the exit. Then get back to the entrance, which, as it turned out, was a long walk (maybe there was a bus back?). From there, take a bus to the station and head back to Chengdu. Once there, I knew I could walk back to the hostel. And then, while I was making my way back to the entrance, a car pulled up beside me. Inside was a group of people I assumed were students, all Chinese. Through gestures and broken communication, they understood that I was lost and drove me back to the starting point. Thank you, amazing people! One problem solved! Standing there again, I realised I still had not taken my photo in front of the Buddha. And I wanted my damn picture! To do that, I needed to take a boat out onto the river. I went ahead and just did it. The expression on my face in that picture is therefore not of awe or of joy. It is the look of someone who has no idea what is going to happen next, no doubt taken by someone who was very confused. Okay. Time to try and make my way back! Keep in mind, by the way, that Google, Facebook, and so on were all blocked at the time, and that when I went a second time, years later, I used a VPN (highly advisable). I found the bus stop, and when at last a bus arrived, I was preparing myself to try and explain where I needed to go, when the driver, who, for some reason, was very excited to see me, actually gestured for me to step on the bus. Sure enough, it turned out to be the same driver who had brought us from the bus station earlier that day and actually recognised me because of my good looks! You can’t imagine the feeling of relief, and still a bit of worry (I still didn’t know for sure if he went to the station), that I felt when I realised all was going to be okay. Eventually, the bus stopped at the main bus station, and seeing that felt like an absolute miracle! That surely must be the end of my boring story, right? Nope. We are now ten minutes before the bus leaves, and I’m planning on being aboard it when I randomly turn my head to look out of the bus station and actually see Zoltan, only Zoltan, walking towards me. Turns out that both he and Maria (hope it wasn’t because of me) had an argument at the site, told him to F*** off, and thereafter stormed out, leaving him behind, following with him not being able to find her anymore. I had offered to wait with him, but he told me to go on ahead, saying that he would wait for her and take the last bus back if he had to. I got on the bus, waved him goodbye as they do in all those movies (not really), and once in Chengdu, I just walked back to the hostel, following the map the hostel had given me. So, is this then the end? I’m tired!
Again. Nope. Because when I eventually arrived (the bar area was located at the entrance), who do I see, sitting at a table, enjoying a drink? That’s right! Maria! I remember her telling me that they did indeed argue and that she eventually sent him a message. So naturally, hours later, a very quiet Zoltan walks in, looks at her, asks her if she’s okay, and goes straight to the room where they were staying. And that is officially that, which just now made me wonder if they’re still together! Never will I forget that experience. It taught me a simple but important lesson when travelling alone: do your own research! Pay attention to where you are going! Don’t wander too far from the group! And please, for the love of all that is holy, if you’re travelling with your loved one, don’t just leave each other behind! In the next issue of Benjamin’s Welcome & Goodbye, Earth newsletter
This month’s question relates to Lundiana Jones and the mystery of the 100+ year-old piece of glass! Do you own something that you found in a place within the city or village you live in, something that not many people know about? Would you be willing to share that story? Help out the next reader. If you notice any mistakes or have suggestions, then I’d love to hear from you! |
#2 – Lundiana Jones and the Leshan Giant Buddha Conundrum!
...or that one time when I found myself in deep doodoo!