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…or that one time when I found myself in one of Ghent’s lesser-known secrets! But before we get into all of that, how about we get some of the more serious stuff out of the way first? First of all, I’ve launched a Patreon. If you’d like early access to upcoming books, a look behind the scenes of my writing process, or even the chance to shape the story, it’s all happening there. Depending on the tier, you can comment as an alpha reader or beta reader, have your name in the acknowledgements in future books, or even name characters, planets and more. You can also name a character with a very short life expectancy after someone you think deserves it. It’s still a work in progress, so things may change as I build it. If that sounds like your kind of thing, you can check it out here: https://www.patreon.com/cw/BenjaminWuyts Website: https://benjaminwuyts.com/ The age that shapes me (and us) The Welcome & Goodbye, Earth universe The main story:
“What you talking about, fool? (remember Mr.T?) You should be writing! And what is all that nonsense about you taking a holiday? You SHOULD be writing!” Well, hey now, hold your horses! What am I? A robot from the future or something? The sidestories:
Drumroll, please. What? Drumroll! Uhm, how about you just tell us? Dude, you are ruining my mojo! (sighs) Fiiiiine. RRLLRRLLRRLLRRLLRRLLRRLLRRLL… (I checked the internet, by the way, to see how drumrolls sound when typed out.) Under the Skin, Parts One and Two (at least the hard part) are officially done. The developmental edit and all the extras for the front and back matter are also done. By the time you read this, they will most likely be under copy edit, and I will have contacted the relevant people for the blurbs, cover, and layout. This project should be completely finished within three months. Also, I can share the official titles with you. Part One: Under the Skin Part Two: The Unwanted Help Both, and the parts still to come, will belong to the Under the Skin series, a Welcome & Goodbye, Earth story.
And that it that! The fun stuff ↓ Things I’ve seen or done Some of the more notable things that happened. Explained to you in chronological order.
Frienemies of the Ben Previously, within the Frienemies of the Ben series, From the Far East came a dog with an undying love and loyalty for its new mother. It moved to the side, glanced at its new dad, and displayed an expression not once before observed among dogs. That expression became known as ‘The Stare’. And now, the continuation… Okay, so we got the dog, we got the equipment, and we spent weeks buying her a large number of toys, mattresses, blankets, and teddy bears. It took me two whole months to create a beautiful banner to welcome her home, all of which she destroyed in less than a day, or at least those that smelled most of me. She had one big accident on the first day, which, as a first-time dog owner, I was really happy about, and she peed for at least a month only on me and on exactly those places where I always sat or slept. And before you ask, yes, only on my side of the bed and pillow, my side of the couch, my office chair, my shoes, etc. Luna barked at literally everything for about three weeks straight, of course, only at times when I took her for a walk, and she eventually got the message when I bought myself some noise-cancelling headphones due to the serious anxiety that came every time I took her out. Oh, she still barked, trying to freak me, and only me, out, but I always kept saying Gremo (Slovenian for: let’s go) until eventually she came to realise that no matter what she did, it would not do her any good. I think she knew that she could also just attack some kids, etc, but that such an action would result in a non-negotiable one-way ticket back to the East. (I had shown her some of the house rules, which I then forced her to sign.) We live only a few minutes away from the dog park, and we regularly end up there in an attempt for her to spend time with some of her peers. Months later, things were slowly calming down. As a dog owner, as you would with a young child, I suppose, you start meeting a lot of people and even become friends with some of them. And before you give me the stare, yes, some people actually choose to become friends with me. Their dogs, however, always treated me with, you guessed it, the stare and occasionally paid their respects by producing a symphony of barks, both of which, oddly enough, always came after a slight nod from Luna herself. A nod that I always found peculiar. I remember telling my wife about this, after which she repeatedly said that dogs do not nod at other dogs, dogs who then proceed with stares and barking. Okay, I remember telling myself, maybe I am just seeing things? (Luna never did these things in the company of my wife or when my wife was walking her alone.) Weeks went by during which I, honest to God, began to feel a bit unsettled. Eventually, I told myself that enough was enough. There was something really suspicious going on with this dog, and I was going to find out what it was. It was as if she were unusually intelligent or something, because, and this I swear, I had seen her communicating with dogs in ways that I had not seen another dog do. And people always gave me the same reply: “Well, Ben. Border Collies, as I am sure you know, are known to be very intelligent dogs.” Yeah, fuck you, Karen! Dogs do not draw in the sand to communicate with other dogs when they think no one is watching, no matter how intelligent they are. I was not being listened to, which was why I decided to start paying close attention and react just like Kevin McCallister did in Home Alone. “This is my sanity, and I have to defend it!” I began to secretly watch my dog whenever she thought I was talking to someone, making a mental image of everything that was happening, only to write it down later in a notebook that mysteriously vanished much later and only moments before I was about to present my findings to my wife. A story for another time. Nine out of ten, or rather eleven out of ten attempts, I failed due to one or more spotter dogs who were staring only at me, whilst some of the others took care of the other owners. It took me over a year of careful observation, gathering evidence, intel, or information in which I saw my dog successfully communicate in a wide variety of ways. The key to eventually becoming victorious lay in a dog’s only weakness. All things round and bouncy, and the sticks that come from my friends, the trees. When I attempted to follow some of their communication, I threw a ball to distract the watchdogs. When they grew bored or became suspicious, watching me as their tiny brains started figuring things out, I quickly changed tactics and threw them a stick, followed by a squeaky toy, more balls and, as a last resort, two of the cats that I, in secret, always carried with me when I found myself in the big bad world. One sat in my hoodie’s inner pocket, whilst the other always slept in the hood. Both of them, for some reason, were always looking for a fight when it came to dogs and, like all cats not poisoned by dogs, seemed to care about me. Well, until they had to go home at least. Which made those moments at home especially uncomfortable at times when it was just her and me. And it was during one of those moments, when my wife was on a weekend trip with some of her friends, that our already unhealthy relationship went to an all-time low. I eventually walked into our living room and caught Luna performing some sort of supernatural ritual in which she had drawn a pentagram made from the insides of that one pigeon that was always checking out our balcony, always filling out some strange checklist to see if the conditions needed to build a nest were all accounted for. That was when everything went into slow motion and I had my “oh shit” moment, the kind I am sure you know how it would play out. I reached into my pocket to grab my phone, but, oh no, wrong pocket! Luna, at that point, came running towards me. Success. I managed to grab my phone, double-clicked the main button to activate the camera, and when I finally held it in front of me, Luna kicked it out of my hand. The altercation that followed I will not describe, but suffice it to say that when she eventually pinned me against the wall, I had, among many other things, a busted lip due to Luna swinging me towards all four corners of the room. Remember that scene in one of the Alien films when Ellen Ripley finds herself pinned against the wall whilst that misunderstood Xenomorph with a severe case of hypersalivation stood only a few millimetres away from her looking for a hug? Anyway, it was only when I was thrown towards the first corner that I kept thinking to myself how unbelievably strong this dog was. And as I sat there on the ground, more shocked than anything else, with Luna’s little paw against my throat, I finally got the confirmation that I had for many months been looking for. There was no barking involved, only her slowly shaking her head whilst she, even more slowly, gave me the universal sign of “talk about this to anyone and you’re dead”. You know what I mean, the paw against her throat going from left to right.
It was at that very moment that I truly came to realise that my dog, the one known by many as Luna, was anything but a normal dog and that it was time to take matters into my own hands! Glossary: The Stare: an expression showcasing a melting pot of negative emotions at once, such as confusion, disappointment, disgust, boredom and many more. The age that shaped me (and us)
Okay. Before you all start quoting Mick “Crocodile” Dundee’s most famous line, “That’s not a knife, that’s a knife” (I totally just did), in your best Australian accent, or wonder whether you too could stop a bag snatcher from a hundred metres away using nothing more than a can of soup, it’s important to know that you really shouldn’t generalise. Not every Australian is the same. I’ll admit, however, that every Australian I’ve run into thus far (with a few exceptions here and there, my own brother-in-law most certainly not being one of them) always sounds the same. I can’t tell you how many times during my travels I’ve run into people who were like, “G’day mate”, “How are you going?”, “Good on ya”, “No worries”, or who use words like “Barbie, Aussie, mate, togs and esky”. And yes, some of them just can’t help themselves by saying the actual “That’s not a knife, that’s a knife” when I offer them a part of my sandwich when they see me making one. Anyway, all I’m trying to say is not to generalise, because generalising, as we all know, is bad. So, before I tell you all about that one guest who showed up at our door with, and I’m so sorry for saying this, an actual hat made from crocodile leather and a “G’day mate. I’m Charlotte, from way down under” sort of greeting, I should probably first explain exactly how this guest ended up staying at our place for over a month. It started in June 2010, and I don’t know why, but for some reason I can still remember the exact month and year, as if it were a life-changing experience for me, which, perhaps, in a way, it was, as I met the most amazing (and weirdest) people and friends on this platform known as Couchsurfing. What is Couchsurfing? Simple, really. It’s a platform where one could basically offer a spare bed or a couch for free to someone who is backpacking. There is also a system like that for people who are on a cycling trip, called Warmshowers. There are actually a lot of similar websites for this because, simply put, Couchsurfing, and mostly that platform, went from free membership and good to basically paid membership and not so good anymore, causing a lot of its members who loved the idea behind it to move to other platforms. When I was there, however, it was amazing. You could not only host or stay at other people’s places, but also host events, which I did several times, like paintball events, all-you-can-eat events, and so on. I think that eventually I perhaps grew out of it and had my profile erased. That was the what, the how and the why. Now on to the who, the who being Charlotte. Charlotte actually visited us twice, and I think that both times were for work. She’s currently a choreographer, performer and researcher in Berlin, and back in the day she was in Ghent for a show in which she performed in a production that took place several times over the course of a month. It was during her second stay that she gifted us with what you see above this text. I have since not once met a more hardcore Australian than her. Okay, that was a lie. I have heard of one who is a friend of my brother-in-law, someone who actually lives in a tent somewhere out there in the bush. This guy got married dozens of times, which might very well have had something to do with his particular lifestyle, but at a certain moment in their lives, he always took his kids with him into the bush for an entire year, which the school permitted due to the fact that they could learn more from him than at school. So, if by now, you, the Australian, think something like, “Mate, there are no Aussies more hardcore than the one you just described, especially not out there beyond our borders”, then think again, because this particular Aussie, Charlotte, drank a warm glass of milk each and every time before going to bed. Not exactly hardcore, I grant you that, until you find out that she actually had it with a spoonful of Vegemite. And it is with that, as you, the Australian who is currently gagging or retching in disgust, that I will leave you. Stories that didn’t make the board: the mystery of the 100+ year-old piece of glass!
Okay. This is going to be a cool story! And for me to explain it properly, we need to go back to where it all began. So, how about you step into my DeLorean so we can get there? Because we have to go back, (your name)! Back to the past!
Or, more importantly, to the year 1913! The year in which the city of Ghent, my hometown, hosted the world expo from April all the way through to November, across a site that was a whopping 120 hectares in size! Now, if you are thinking, “What is this Ghent, and why was it such a big deal back in the day?” then fear not. I will tell you! Because, thanks to the power of the internet, that kind of information is but a click away! The exhibition was inaugurated on 26 April 1913 by King Albert I and Queen Elisabeth, marking the start of an ‘unprecedented century of progress’. In the eighteenth and early nineteenth centuries, Belgium was a heavyweight in industry, economy, and culture, and Ghent, recognising this, hosted the 28th Expo in 1913. Now, if at this point you are thinking, “Ew! Belgium sucks! With their waffles, their chocolate and their Belgian fries!” then know this: back in the day, you could actually take a train from Istanbul all the way to the amazing city of Ostend. It served either as the final stop on the line or as the place from which you embarked! So, there you have it! Ooh! Is that another question I see? What? What is a world expo? Well, let us ask, shall we? A world’s fair, also known as a universal exhibition, is a large global exhibition designed to showcase the achievements of nations. These exhibitions vary in character and are held in different parts of the world at a specific site for a period of time, typically between three and six months. The term “world’s fair” is commonly used in the United States, while the French term, Exposition universelle (“universal exhibition”), is used in most of Europe and Asia; other terms include World Expo or Specialised Expo, with the word expo used for various types of exhibitions since at least 1958.
Anyway, I don’t want to go into too much detail, but for those who are interested in the entire history of the World Expos, you can head over to Worldfairs.info. It is even possible to explore the Ghent one yourself using an interactive 3D model, which I, myself, did not know about until now! https://stamgent.be/en/digi-expos/wereldtentoonstelling-gent-1913 (I don’t want to add too many links because the system might actually flag this email as spam.) You can actually walk through what I’m about to talk about, but not go inside because the access to it is not there… Want to hear another fun fact? The Expo of 1913 was the last one before a certain event. I’m sure you know which one I’m talking about, right? Right? You do know what happened from 1914 to 1918, don’t you? Okay. That was that. Back to the future! Or rather, back to our present! Yes, the casemates are still there, and the subject of this story is actually behind a door, formerly wooden, now metal, on the left side!
So, a few years ago, we actually had a guided tour inside the park’s bunker. Before you ask, yes, there was a bunker, and not only can you see the chimneys sticking out, but thanks to time itself, the bunker, or at least part of it, is actually emerging from the hill. Sorry, no picture this time, so I guess you’ll just have to trust me. Anyway, our guide was so knowledgeable and enthusiastic about the park (I think we were the last group of the day) that he actually took us on a kind of bonus tour about the history of the Expo itself, only to then show us something that few living beings have seen before. Believe it or not, the World Expo of 1913 actually had an aquarium!
And where there is an aquarium, there is glass. A LOT of glass. And not just any glass. Fish were cheerfully swimming around behind glass that was about three centimetres thick! And that, my friends, is absolutely amazing! Not only the fact that this cave actually still exists today, but that the glass used to be so thick and is actually still there. I had asked the guide if I could take a piece of it home with me because I like to collect things I might never see again, and I was happy to hear that he was okay with it. I really do hope that the city of Ghent never decides to actually tear it all down. They had abandoned it until our guide took it upon himself not only to clean it (it used to be the biggest cat toilet in the city, in his words) but also to promote it whenever possible. I hope you managed to enjoy this story somewhat. Ghent used to be massively important and still has a lot of secrets that not many people know about. One of them, and sorry for rattling on, is what you might call a bench of shame. Back in the day, if you stole an apple or something, you could end up there in the middle of the centre so that everyone knew what you had done. The wooden bench itself is gone, but the iron and even the shackles (though I might be wrong about that last one) are still attached to the wall. They remain in the centre, secretly hidden behind what used to be the smallest bar in town. (Hint for those who know about it.) I’ve been to the World Expo in 2015 in Milan, because, like the Olympics and similar events, it was something I wanted to experience at least once, and it was definitely worth it! Anyway. That’s that. See you next time! In the next issue of Benjamin’s Welcome & Goodbye, Earth newsletter
This month’s question relates to Lundiana Jones vs the beds that are too small! What is the one thing that helps you sleep at night and is a vital part of your luggage, no matter where you go? Would you mind telling me what that is and the story behind it? Help out the next reader. If you notice any mistakes or have suggestions, then I’d love to hear from you! |
#3 – Lundiana Jones and the mystery of the 100+ year-old piece of glass!
…or that one time when I found myself in one of Ghent’s lesser-known secrets!